Immigrants living in the U.S. commonly adopt American names or anglicize their own names to assimilate at some varying level.
I remember when my Korean dad decided to stop using his Korean name – which was hard for Americans to pronounce – to use an American name. After reading The Name Jar by Yangsook Choi, I started to think maybe it would have better for my dad to keep using his Korean name as a matter of retaining Korean identity.
Back in the 80s, though, I don’t think my dad wanted to be that deep. It was a matter of convenience. He was sick of people mispronouncing his name, so it was easier to change than to expect others to learn.
This Random Dude Re-Named My Dad
A long time ago, my parents met a new realtor to show a home. He was Caucasian with wavy, auburn hair and a mustache. He was tall. My dad is 5’10” and the realtor was at least a head taller.
As is the nature of his profession, the realtor was chatty, animated, and all smiles. He was the kind of guy who told jokes, patted backs, and had a great handshake. He often winked, which made me and my little sister giggle. I liked him instantly.
The realtor asked my dad for his name. In a heavy Korean accent, my dad replied, “Myung.” The realtor tilted his head, cupped his ear with the palm of his hand, and asked, “Excuse me?”
My dad usually repeated his name like in a spelling bee, “Myung. M-Y-U-N-G. Myung”
The guy smiled, nodded his head, like, Sure, whatever. He didn’t understand it.
We spent the next few minutes touring the property. The realtor continued to charm us, asking questions about ourselves and pointing out features to the house.
In the end, the realtor turned to my sister and me and said, “Hey, I have a new name for your dad. Mike! How’s that?’ We giggled. He was so charming!
The realtor asked my dad. “Is it OK if I call you Mike?” Now my dad giggled and responded, “You know. I like it. From now on, I’m going to use Mike.”
At the time, it didn’t seem weird that this guy was renaming my dad. I thought it was kind of cool. I didn’t like always explaining my dad’s name, either.
Korean Names Are Difficult (for Americans)
My dad said he mostly changed his name because many coworkers mispronounced it, calling him Young or My Young. Either my dad gave up correcting them, or they never bothered to learn.
I have known people to change their names for the professional world; some college friends changed their Korean names when looking for jobs. Companies didn’t call candidates with foreign names on top of their resumes. It’s only when they changed their names that they got some interviews.
Favorable responses to Anglo or anglicized names are not a recent or isolated phenomenon. Many studies have shown the social and economic disparities of having a foreign name rather than an American name.
Children may decide to drop their Korean names, too. In some cases, kids can only tolerate their Korean names being teased for so long.
My friend changed her name in 5th grade because kids pronounced her Korean name Suk as suck. They’d chant, “You suck! You suck!” Her name is pronounced Sook. Of course, she hated it and begged her parents to change it.
(I still call her by her Korean name as a term of endearment. She said I’m one of two people who still do.)
Don’t Change His Name. It’s Personal.
Looking back, I don’t know if I would have told my dad to keep his name. I can understand how decades of “Mike” would be less annoying than “My Young.”
I’m not grateful to the realtor, though. The guy wasn’t trying to help my dad; he tried to make things easier for himself. You don’t go around renaming people because you don’t like their names.
Many do have strong opinions about the matter. I won’t forget Hasan Minhaj teaching Ellen Degeneres the pronunciation of his name.
For me, it’s low on the totem pole of things to be concerned about right now.
My name is my Korean name. People may mispronounce a vowel or misspell it, but it doesn’t bother me. Then again, my Korean name happens to be similar to an American name. Also, I didn’t change my last name when I got married. Heh. I guess I care more about my name than I think.
After all, our names are very personal. Everyone’s story is special and unique.
After this reflection, I realized I’ve always introduced my dad as Myung. Granted, I do not often use his first name as he’s mostly “dad” or “my dad.” Regardless, as cool as I may have thought it was at the time, Mike is not his name.
Related Titles
My story was inspired by the book The Name Jar by Yangsook Choi. Check my other books reviews, “About Korean-American Girls,” to inspire your own story: